Author: CW

Birdie Transformation Program

Week 14

Practice

On the path of the development of the harmonious human being, there are practices and investigations that have shown to be beneficial.

The thing with practice is this: it only works if you practice, at that usually means regularly. Unlike a spontaneous awakening experience that comes, at least in part, as a gift from Grace, certain desired lasting changes in your development, also called stages of development, can be helped along through engagement in stage appropriate practices.

This week we are called to review the weeks of the Birdie Transformation Program we have had so far and reflect of what is happening with us in relation to it.

Have you done, at least sometimes, any or all the tasks, exercises or practices as they were given for a certain week?

Is there a practice you have taken on and incorporated into your life?

Examples: maybe the daily morning minute was doable? Have you been giving the cells of your body more of the actual necessary nutrients they need for optimal functioning? Are you able to know/sense what is actually going on in your body – a few times per day or maybe all day long? Maybe you found keeping a gratitude journal helped so much that it has become a habit? Maybe connecting with your body through super slow movement or gentle touch and massage has had a healing effect. Maybe finding out about the nervous system and early trauma was important?

What effects or changes have you noticed in your life in the last 3 months, if any?

This week is simply a review of where we have been in the preceding Birdie Transformation Program weeks. There is time for looking at what is happening with us.

Birdie Transformation Program

Week 13

Refocus with gratitude.

Exercise this week:

Every time to notice one of those automatic thought loops, repetitive ruminations, persistent anger at the same thing, compulsion to be nice or helpful even though your body screams no, …things like that, repetitive “tapes” playing:

Shift out of the pattern by re-focussing using gratitude.

Once you catch yourself as being in some kind of automatic loop, think of something you are grateful for, then think of another thing you are grateful for, keep going till the shift is complete.

It is a simple body/mind mini hack for changing our conditioning in what we call human in the manifest world. Rewiring means when energy flows, it has other options than the usual and habitual.

Do you have to change the pattern? No, not at all. You don’t have to do anything. You may find it beneficial though.

Have a great time. I mean that – observe what happens, be curious, it can be a lot of fun.

Birdie Transformation Program

Week 12

The topic is Joy, more specifically: how do you know when you are experiencing joy?

What does joy feel like in your physical body?

What does joy feel like in your emotions?

What is joy?

How is, or rather is joy different from happiness, excitement, silliness, relief, pleasurable sensual body movement, love, elation, bliss, devotion, gratitude?

How does your body express joy?

What does joy mean to you?

How do you experience joy?

Movement task – can you move your body in a way that you would describe as; yes, there is joy in moving this way?

The purpose of the task is to identify how those types of emotions feel in the body.
a paying attention to it when these kinds of emotions happen  and when more energy flows
through the system.

Birdie Transformation Program

Week 011

Tread Softly.

This really is the central message for this coming week: tread softly, so as not to scare the baby.

One could say: be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself.

In movement – be deliberate and measured, the actual message was: slow way down, way way down.

Study and observe.

The process intensifies and rather than getting a break, we are called to be fiercely present, to pay attention to what is actually happening in and with our body sensation, emotions and thoughts.

The process this week is very much like chapter 4 of the HBM (From The Human Biological Machine as a transformational Apparatus by E.J. Gold), collecting data for the sleep of the machine, only it is rephrased like this:

Notice your automatic programs, whether it is movement, emotions or thoughts.

Movements might be: gesticulating with your hands, wiggling your legs, walking a certain way, rolling your eyes.

Emotions: feeling down on account of what someone said, feeling unworthy, feeling less than or too much or not good enough etc.

Thoughts…your automatic tapes of what you tell yourself about yourself, others or situations.

In self observation, slow way down. Pay attention to what is happening in your body moment to moment. Ask if what is happening is painful, feels good, feels right, neutral or horrible. Is it tingly, sharp, dull, hollow, pressure and so on.

Notice the effect your automatic reactions and beliefs have on your life and well being, both in specific situation and, as a consequence, in your life overall.

Study

The call to study this week is to help clarify the neuro-electrical challenges a human biological organism faces who is living with profound early trauma. Most of the more specific knowledge available to us has been brought forth in the last 25 years or so.

In awakening the human biological machine, there will inevitably come a time to face, endure or feel some sensations that will be unpleasant and very challenging. Being educated about the nervous system and the way it perceives, called neuroception, the innate ability of our nervous system to perceive all by itself, can be of tremendous help in understanding our automatic reactions. Knowing about it from a more scientific viewpoint can also help us with our patience, compassion and non-judgmental attitude towards ourselves and others.

Go slow!

Here are some topics and terms that will help to understand human biological automatic reactions as it related to survival mechanisms from very early trauma.

What is c-PTSD? (Complex – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Is there a fundamental difference how a basically healthy adult can deal with sudden trauma, say rape, vs someone who is conditioned with c-PTSD?

What is the Polyvagal Theory, introduced by Dr. Stephen Porges in 1994.

What is the social engagement system?

What is fight or flight and freeze reaction and, how do each of them actually manifest in yourself or other people?

What is nervous system arousal, activation and hyperarousal?

What is the difference between self-regulation and other-regulation?

Educate yourself on attachment theory.
What is secure attachment, or fearful avoidant attachment or disorganized attachment?

You can also learn about it by looking into the system that uses the analogy of someone being an Island, Wave or Anchor in describing attachment styles as used by Stan Tatkin.

For those of you who have attended a live LRS (Labyrinth Readers Society) training course, you will recall the contact exercise.

Based on your study of the above, what do you think the challenge might be for a participant who has experienced severe c-PTSD?

Knowledge about the body’s neuroception and trauma responses leads to a greater ability to be impartial and stay compassionate during self observation. Armed with the knowledge gained, you might be able to stay with the sensation just a little longer and eventually notice that self observation can have a general awakening effect on the body-mind, or the HBM.

Being able to gently stay with ourselves has a softening effect, a welcoming effect for our bodies and minds, and this in turn helps energy move.

Do you HAVE to study? Not for yourself if your attention and presence are well developed.

If you work with others, like in yoga or therapy, it is professional and in integrity to know about certain things for the sake of the people that come to you.

Birdie Transformation Program

Week 010

Increasing capacity

This week’s exploration is about increasing capacity.

More specifically, exploration about increasing the capacity to hold charge. We could also say: to tolerate a little more and be able to stay in flow and stay relaxed.

Imagine getting or developing a bigger container to hold charge before it overflows or explodes or discharges.

Increasing capacity could mean capacity to maintain a physical position, or capacity to understand something, or capacity to hold pleasure without discharging, or capacity to tolerate unpleasant physical sensations, or capacity to tolerate nervous system activation, or increasing what someone with early developmental trauma can tolerate in being around people and still remain present to relating and ability to respond vs react/discharge, or increasing capacity to hold light energy coursing through you.

In what way would it be beneficial for you and in your life to increase your capacity?

Be specific and come up with a plan as to how you will accomplish this.

For Example: In myself , I notice that I have a difficult time to flow with sudden, unexpected changes in some everyday events. Noticing the sensations in my body and recognizing the reaction as an old wiring of situations of overwhelm,  I can consciously relax and change my thoughts and get back into a flow that is able to incorporate the change…without getting upset. This way the capacity for dealing with sudden change increases.

Clarification:

Charge is meant as in: capacity to hold and conduct energy, without disorganized discharge, explosion, outburst, reflexive automatic physical reaction. Ideally, energy simply flows through the system and does not get stuck at all.

Using the example of a battery: the battery can be empty, the battery gets charged, battery is full. At that point of being full, it cannot accommodate any more energy. A big battery – can accommodate a lot of energy/charge compared to a small battery.

We can look at the human nervous system as if it were a battery that will forcefully discharge when its capacity is reached and no natural energy flow occurs and /or energy is not able to ground.

This forceful energy discharge is usually physical or verbal automatic reaction. Have you ever noticed after a big blow up you feel very drained?

The nervous system in people with early developmental trauma is compromised in the sense of, or as if, the battery is small and energy is held rather than flowing. It is just a beginning analogy as this is actually a huge area of study. A lot has been clarified in the last 2 decades regarding the nervous system throughout the body and various area of the brain. Much more on that later.

Relational stresses/dealing with people/environment can be very challenging and stressful. We can look at stress as charging. More stress, more charge will build up till eventually capacity is nearly full. Further charging either needs to then be minimized or stopped, or unhealthy discharge happens.

For example, one such symptom cascade is: irritation, then upset, frustration, anger and, in the worst case, outburst of rage.

The threshold when that happens varies in different people. The capacity to hold  charge and still be responsive, that is, present, vs being subject to the system (battery) overload and discharge of the energy – can be increased.

Capacity for pleasure is also dependent on the capacity of the  nervous system/presence. Sexually is only one aspect of it, though an important one and easily practiced.

P.S. – if you don’t have early infant/developmental trauma, (c-PTSD) it will be difficult to understand certain aspects of what some people deal with. In fact, Bessel van der Kolk said: for someone who has not experienced it, it is impossible to understand c-PTSD. Others (normal people without such trauma) never really get it. As a therapist however, if not knowledgeable about this, (that is called trauma-informed) – deep healing usually does not happen when simply other methods are employed. I am working on a page explaining more of this, but given that many people have written and studied this for years, I might end up simply given resource information.

Being knowledgeable about early developmental trauma and various attachment types and how they express in daily life and relational contexts IS an important aspect on this path. It starts with learning more about it. Either for oneself, someone you love or someone you work with.

Birdie Transformation Program

Week nine

Integration and Movement

Many tasks and explorations have been posted in the first eight weeks. It is time to slow down, rest and integrate, digest, review, take care of ourselves, take a bath, write in your journals, sit on the beach or under a tree. Just being with yourself and any new insights, discoveries and feelings is important. Take time to allow this.

Movement guided by the body – in a safe space.

Movement of your body will aid the integration process. When the time is right, you can also explore moving your body to music.

PS Remember to listen to yourself when deciding to do an exercise. Is it the right time for you to do a particular exploration? Is it time to slow down?